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A local newspaper ran a competition asking for a rhyme with the most

>romantic first line...

>but the least romantic second line. Here are some of the entries they

>received.

>

>1. My feelings for you no words can tell,

> Except for maybe "go to hell"

>

>2. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

> But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's

empty

>and so is your head.

>

>3. Of loving beauty you float with grace,

> If only you could, hide your face

>

>4. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;

> This describes everything you are not!

>5. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -

> Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

>

>6. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:

> Marrying you screwed up my life

>

>7. I see your face when I am dreaming.

> That's why I always wake up screaming

>

>8. My love, you take my breath away.

> What have you stepped in to smell this way?

>

>9. I thought that I could love no other

> Until, that is, I met your brother.

>

>10. What inspired this amorous rhyme?

> Two parts vodka, one part lime

http://in.groups.yahoo.com/group/forwards4all [Nice Joke]
The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing, there were 3 finalists: two men and one woman.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!!"
The man said, "You can´t be serious. I could never shoot my wife."
The agent said, "Then you´re not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."
The second man was given the same instructions.
He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can´t kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don´t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman´s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband.
She took the gun and went into the room. They heard shots, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.
"This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."
MORAL: If you want the job done, give it to a woman.

Beautiful prayer by a software employee.....................

GEOGRAPHY OF WOMEN

Between the ages of 15 - 20, a woman is like Africa.
She is half discovered, half wild.

Between the ages of 20 - 30, a woman is like America.
Fully discovered and scientifically perfect.

Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India & Japan.
Very hot, crispy, wise and beautiful!!!

Between the ages of 35 - 40, a woman is like France.
She is half destroyed after the war but still desirable.

Between the ages of 40 - 50, she is like Germany.
She lost the war but not the hope.

Between the ages of 50 - 60, she is like Russia.
Very wide, very quiet but nobody goes there.

Between the ages of 60 - 70, a woman is like England.
With a glorious past but no future.

After 70, they become Siberia.
Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

Aparichithudu

Oka line lo 5 bugs vunte thappa - kadu
5 lines lo 5 bugs vunte thappa - china thappu
5 programs lo 5 lines lo 5 bugs Vunte thappu kada - pedda thappe.

Prabhas

'Smile Smile Smile
Ee Prapancham entho peddadi,
Andhulo ee software entho chinnadhi,
Andhulo ee bug chala chala chinnadhi,
so don't bother about it,
Smile Smile Smile'.

Mahesh Babu

'Bug ni chudalanukovacchu - Tappu ledu
Rectify Cheyyalanukovaddu - Chacchi Pothav'

Nenu entha chetta tester no naake teliyadu!!

Chiru

'Idhigidhigo bossu .... Maree antha speed aiypomaaku story maaripoddhi...

As Tagore
Mana program lo mottam 2500 lines vunnayi
Andulo 1250 bugs vunnayi
Andulo 750 Runtime bugs ithey migilinavi, 500 bugs
compile time bugs.

Mana programlo ekkada choosinaa ..BUG!..BUG!..BUG!...ila prathi line lo inni BUGS vunte program ela execute cheyyali Sir!!..inni bugs choosi visugu chendaanu,elagainaaa BUGS rectify cheyyalanukunnanu.....anduke ABF(Anti Bugs Force) ane software tayyaru chesaanu...!..BUGS nu rectify chesaanu!....Nenu chesindhi tappani anipisthe naaku appraisals ivvakkarledu, hikes ivvakkarledu...assalu SALARY ne ivvaddu SIR!!!

PM: Andaru TESTERlu company lo pudataaru..kaani Nuvvu janam lo nunchi puttina TESTER vayya..!!

Balaiah

Nee bugs lo dammenta, nee Code lo pavarenta...
Nenu talachukunte kantichooputo bugs ni Srushtistaa

Nee program open chesaa...Andulo BUG petta..!

Nuvvu nijam gaa TESTER aithe ,Niyyabba nuvvu chadivindhi testing concepts ee aithe....BUG kanukkora chooddam! !!

NTR

EE baggulu mottamodata create chesindhi maa taata.....program lo pettindhi maa taata...vaatitho nuvvendhiraa nannu peekedhi!!

Nag
'Oye yetthi kottanante yetlo padadame kadu Surru summaipodhi, Bug Big ayipodhi!!.

Venkatesh

'Ayyo Ayyo Ayyayyo
Any Language
Any Compiler
Any no of Bugs
Single Hand -> Ganesh'

Legebrity-Mohan Babu:

The relationship between tester and BUG is like a fish and water ,but not fish and fisherman..!!.....eppudo chinnappudu chaduvukunna chaduvu grammer tappulu vunte manninchu....assalu arthame tappanukunte kshaminchu!!

Pity Star (UdayKiran)

'Chi Chi mee peddolunnarey, Coffee aani, Tea
aani, Meetings aani, Savalaksha Karanalu cheppi ma time waste chestaru.
Repu udayam padakondu gantalaki ee bug ni solve chesi ma youth power ento
chupista'

Now suddenly PowerStar will enter and say :-

'Matter chusthe chinna area, dheentlo pedda chikkulu, Andukey
chepthunnanu my dear friend's TESTING -GISTING ane tokkalo panulu pettukuvaddu!!

**WARNING** THIS IS NOT STRICTLY TRUE IN EVERY SAALI'S. AND DO NOT TAKE THIS PERSONALLY!!

...*

*What is the difference between Saali & Wife*

Saali is Beauty, Wife is Duty

Saali is Pension, Wife is Tension

Saali is Yummy, Wife is Vehmi

Saali is Pataka, Wife is Dhamaka

Saali is Cool, Wife is Fool

Saali is Tooti - Fruity, Wife is Kismat Futi

Saali is Fresh cake, Wife is earth QUAK

On a flight James Bond was sitting next to a Telugu guy. Telugu Guy:
"Hello, May I know your name please?"

James Bond: "My name is Bond". Continuing in his inimitable style, "James Bond".

Then Bond asks: "And you?"

Telugu Guy says: "My name is Rao...
Siva Rao...
Samba Siva Rao...
Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Vijayawada Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao..."

Since then when anyone asks Bond his name he simply says "James "

FUN EMAILS GET HERE

One day an employee sends a letter to her boss asking for an increase in her salary !!!
Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company .
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your $ $incerely,

The next day, the employee received this letter of reply :
Dear
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading
ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NO thing more to add NOw You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly,
Manager

Pakistani Tourist

A Pakistani tourist after a long walk in one of very fancy clean streets of Delhi found himself needing to urinate badly. After a long search he could not find any place to you-know, and eventually couldn't control himself and chose a silent corner of a clean street to release himself.

As soon as he had just started you-know-what, a Delhi police official approached him, "Hey, What do you think you're doing here?"

Pakistani tourist: "Sorry I have to Pee"

Police : "No PP here okay ? Follow me."

The Police officer took him to a beautiful garden nearby with lots of grass, flowers and singing birds around.

Police: "PP here..... and have a nice day".

Pakistani tourist : "Oh Sir, ....... that's very nice of you, is this Indian courtesy?"

Police: "No.......this is The Pakistani Embassy!"

Pappu: Dad how was I born

***

***

***

***

***

***

***

Dad: well son, your Mom & I got to gether at 'YAHOO'

we set us a date via E-Mail, & Met in a cyber cafe,

Your Mom agreed to dowload data from my PEN DRIVE,

JUST when I was about to "Transfer"

we realised that none of us have installed "FIREWALL"

IT was too late to DELETE

9 months later a POP-UP Window appeared & said

YOU HAVE GOT A MALE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

some teacher student jokes!!
Teacher - Teacher
Teacher:"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask a question in english, answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student:Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Anwser: Mentaly affected teachers harrasing students

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped
him then what virtue would I be showing ?
Student : BROTHERLY LOVE
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A holiday
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence?"
Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."
-------------------------------------
Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)

A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead:
"I'm afraid he died last week." she explains.

The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.
"I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."

The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts:
"I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"

. . . . . . . . . . .

.

..

.

he replied laughing, "Coz . . ." "I just love hearing it. . . ."

Sachin and Ganguly, 75 and 80 years old are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about cricket, like they do every day Sachin turns to Sourav and says, "Do you think there's cricket in heaven?"

Ganguly thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's cricket in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."

They sake on it and sadly a few months later, poor Sachin passes away.

One day Ganguly is sitting there feeding the pigeons when he hears a voice whisper, "Sourav, Sourav!"

Ganguly responds, "Sachin! Is that you?"

"Yes whispers Sachin's ghost.

Ganguly asks, "So, is there cricket in heaven?" "Well," says Sachin, "I've got good news and bad news." "Gimme the good news first," says Ganguly.

Sachin says, "Well there is cricket in heaven." Ganguly says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"

Sachin sighs and whispers, "You and me, We are going to open the innings on Friday."

LAXMAN: available@home-only

KUMBLE: only@test_match

SACHIN: admitted@hospital

KAIF: good@for_nothing

SEHWAG: consistently@ out_of_form

DRAVID: stick@crease_like_fevicol

PATHAN: takewickets@only_with_ kenya

GREG CHAPPELL: only_experiment@noresult

Munaf Patel: only_line&length@nospeed

Harbhajan Singh: no_spinpitch@nowicket

Suresh Raina: why_i_am_there@ god_knows

Women Are Such Complex Creatures:

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman,
If you don't you are not a man.

If you praise her, she thinks you are lying,
If you don't, you are good for nothing.

If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp,
If you don't you are not understanding.

If you visit her often, you are boring,
If you don't she accuses you of double crossing.

If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy,
If you don't, she says you are a dull guy.

If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait,
If she is late, she says it is a girls way.

If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold,
If you kiss her often, she yells you are taking advantage.

If you talk, she wants you to listen,
If you listen, she wants you to talk.

IN SHORT...
So simple, yet so complex,
So weak, yet so powerful,
So confusing, yet so desirable,
So daming, yet so wonderful... WOMEN !

BLOG NEW WALLPAPER

Romantic Rhymes

Job @ FBI [Nice Joke]

FW: Beautiful prayer by a software employee.....................Telugu

Have U Ever Seen Educated Dogs :-)

GEOGRAPHY OF WOMEN

BUG developers -Telugu

What is the difference between Saali & Wife

FW: Telugu encounter

How to ask ur boss for salary increase

Pakistani Tourist

Dad how was I born - Masala Joke

some teacher student jokes!!

I Just Love to Hear IT !!!!

Sachin & Sourav when 85 years old.....

Email IDs of Indian Cricketers - FUN

Women Are Such Complex Creatures:

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