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My friend B. posted the above on his Facebook page, with his opinion that 2008 was a bad year for pop music. While I also have extreme Rihanna/T. Pain/Leona Lewis fatigue, I've been out of the record industry's coveted demographic for eons. Besides, I legally downloaded some fine singles in 2008, and one of my favorite albums of the year, Coldplay's gorgeous "Viva La Vida," landed on a lot of critics' best-of lists. As a longtime Tom Petty fan, I'm looking forward to hearing that Mudcrutch CD. B.'s kids own the Jonas Brothers' "A Little Bit Longer," which was cranked to Wembley Arena levels one evening. And you know what? It was pretty damned good — very Cheap Trick, as Entertainment Weekly noted. This is a long way of saying that the music of 2008 didn't suck any more than the music of 2007, and it certainly had its bright spots. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

I'm happy to report that every member of my household now "reads" (quote marks are for our 4-year-old) at least one comic book a month. But reading Betty & Veronica comics to C. left me with a nagging question: Why, after all these years, do Chuck and Nancy appear to be the only black kids at Riverdale High School? (Valerie of Josie & the Pussycats doesn't count, because she is a resident of neighboring Midvale. I'm just saying.)

While I don't remember much about the shenanigans of Willie and his friends, I recall quickly losing interest — maybe because no one in my family used phrases like "Can you dig it?" or dressed like a pimp. I must have sensed that it was knockoff, one certainly not approved by Fawcett Publications. (Then again, I read Spire's Christian-themed Archie books, so I had a pretty high tolerance for sketchy comics concepts.)

Given the iron grip of the Archie brand at that time and "Fast Willie's" apparent over-emphasis on jive-talking, it's not surprising that it only lasted for a few issues. In any case, it did bring some diversity to a monochromatic corner of the comics world. It also serves as a reminder of how much can change in 30 years. Despite Chuck and Nancy's token status, I doubt Archie Comics would have them speaking in outdated slang or turning Dilton on to the new Jeezy CD.

Read a more authoritative analysis of Willie & Co. here.

I just read "Revolutionary Road," (1961) which is as beautifully written as it is draining. In other words, very. Richard Yates' novel about a young married couple in the 1950s is difficult stuff, and anyone who has been married for a few years will find some of his themes uncomfortably close to home. Even if your marriage is good, it probably requires far more compromise and work than you imagined - especially if you have children. There's a reason that this book holds up almost 50 years later.

April and Frank Wheeler are not sympathetic characters, and yet, I felt great compassion for both of them at certain times. Trapped by circumstances and limited (by 2008 standards) options, they're both struggling with the disconnect between the life they imagined and the one they actually have. Suffice to say that they do not handle the creeping despair well. Grasping at a vague idea of manhood, Frank indulges in alcohol and young women in the office typing pool. April is either emotionally distant or radioactive with contempt. The ending? Crushing. When I finished the book on the way back from Atlanta, the look on my face prompted my husband to say, "That bad?"

The above may not sound like a ringing endorsement, but "Revolutionary Road" is a lyrical masterpiece - that rare book that I want to re-read. As soon as I recover.

One of the nicer Christmas gifts this year was our new Ragdoll cat, Brando. Like the young Marlon Brando, Ragdoll cats are known for their great beauty. They also get bigger and fluffier over time (up to 20 pounds), as did the late, great actor. So the name is perfect.

It is no small thing that my son loves this cat. He is, to put it mildly, not a cat lover. Yet, he gets a kick out of playing with Brando, cuddling with him and generally enjoying his 6-month-old cat antics. Last night, he actually got upset that the cat didn't seem inclined to sleep in his room.

Like all Ragdolls, blue-eyed Brando has a sweet disposition. He is friendly without being annoying, and dignified without being haughty. He's a keeper.

Only in India

Only in Pakistan

Only in Bangladesh

Only in Japan

Only in Indonesia

Only in Thailand

Only in Australia

Only in Texas

Only in Hawaii

Only in China

Since my father-in-law and his wife live in downtown Atlanta, we're always within walking distance of a concert or an exhibit when we visit. On Monday, we went to see the King Tutankhamun exhibit at the civic center, and it was fantastic. I remember what a big deal it was when the King Tut artifacts came to the U.S. in the 1970s, so we dragged our less-than-stoked children across the street to check it out. Most memorable was a tiny bed, mostly intact, that the Boy King slept in. I don't particularly enjoy thinking about my own mortality, but there is no getting past it when you're looking at the belongings of a long dead pharoah.

Like most of the boys his age who were wandering around, my 8-year-old was more impressed by the fact that Harrison Ford was the voice of the audio tour. At one point, he actually said that he'd rather be watching the Crystal Skull, an Indiana Jones movie that he hasn't even seen. I figure that he'll thank us one day for taking him to museum exhibits against his will. One day.

The exhibit ended in front of an awe-inspiring statue that used to stand some 17 feet tall, and then we were dumped into the gift shop. That's fine, but after gazing at ancient statuary, jewelry and other artifacts, I wasn't prepared to see this ...

Or this ...

There were King Tut baseballs, "Mummy Mints," neckties and "Tutlanta" t-shirts. Yes, Tutlanta.

I wonder what the High Museum will have in the gift shop when we see this exhibit.

Beautiful prayer by a software employee.....................

GEOGRAPHY OF WOMEN

Between the ages of 15 - 20, a woman is like Africa.
She is half discovered, half wild.

Between the ages of 20 - 30, a woman is like America.
Fully discovered and scientifically perfect.

Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India & Japan.
Very hot, crispy, wise and beautiful!!!

Between the ages of 35 - 40, a woman is like France.
She is half destroyed after the war but still desirable.

Between the ages of 40 - 50, she is like Germany.
She lost the war but not the hope.

Between the ages of 50 - 60, she is like Russia.
Very wide, very quiet but nobody goes there.

Between the ages of 60 - 70, a woman is like England.
With a glorious past but no future.

After 70, they become Siberia.
Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

Aparichithudu

Oka line lo 5 bugs vunte thappa - kadu
5 lines lo 5 bugs vunte thappa - china thappu
5 programs lo 5 lines lo 5 bugs Vunte thappu kada - pedda thappe.

Prabhas

'Smile Smile Smile
Ee Prapancham entho peddadi,
Andhulo ee software entho chinnadhi,
Andhulo ee bug chala chala chinnadhi,
so don't bother about it,
Smile Smile Smile'.

Mahesh Babu

'Bug ni chudalanukovacchu - Tappu ledu
Rectify Cheyyalanukovaddu - Chacchi Pothav'

Nenu entha chetta tester no naake teliyadu!!

Chiru

'Idhigidhigo bossu .... Maree antha speed aiypomaaku story maaripoddhi...

As Tagore
Mana program lo mottam 2500 lines vunnayi
Andulo 1250 bugs vunnayi
Andulo 750 Runtime bugs ithey migilinavi, 500 bugs
compile time bugs.

Mana programlo ekkada choosinaa ..BUG!..BUG!..BUG!...ila prathi line lo inni BUGS vunte program ela execute cheyyali Sir!!..inni bugs choosi visugu chendaanu,elagainaaa BUGS rectify cheyyalanukunnanu.....anduke ABF(Anti Bugs Force) ane software tayyaru chesaanu...!..BUGS nu rectify chesaanu!....Nenu chesindhi tappani anipisthe naaku appraisals ivvakkarledu, hikes ivvakkarledu...assalu SALARY ne ivvaddu SIR!!!

PM: Andaru TESTERlu company lo pudataaru..kaani Nuvvu janam lo nunchi puttina TESTER vayya..!!

Balaiah

Nee bugs lo dammenta, nee Code lo pavarenta...
Nenu talachukunte kantichooputo bugs ni Srushtistaa

Nee program open chesaa...Andulo BUG petta..!

Nuvvu nijam gaa TESTER aithe ,Niyyabba nuvvu chadivindhi testing concepts ee aithe....BUG kanukkora chooddam! !!

NTR

EE baggulu mottamodata create chesindhi maa taata.....program lo pettindhi maa taata...vaatitho nuvvendhiraa nannu peekedhi!!

Nag
'Oye yetthi kottanante yetlo padadame kadu Surru summaipodhi, Bug Big ayipodhi!!.

Venkatesh

'Ayyo Ayyo Ayyayyo
Any Language
Any Compiler
Any no of Bugs
Single Hand -> Ganesh'

Legebrity-Mohan Babu:

The relationship between tester and BUG is like a fish and water ,but not fish and fisherman..!!.....eppudo chinnappudu chaduvukunna chaduvu grammer tappulu vunte manninchu....assalu arthame tappanukunte kshaminchu!!

Pity Star (UdayKiran)

'Chi Chi mee peddolunnarey, Coffee aani, Tea
aani, Meetings aani, Savalaksha Karanalu cheppi ma time waste chestaru.
Repu udayam padakondu gantalaki ee bug ni solve chesi ma youth power ento
chupista'

Now suddenly PowerStar will enter and say :-

'Matter chusthe chinna area, dheentlo pedda chikkulu, Andukey
chepthunnanu my dear friend's TESTING -GISTING ane tokkalo panulu pettukuvaddu!!

**WARNING** THIS IS NOT STRICTLY TRUE IN EVERY SAALI'S. AND DO NOT TAKE THIS PERSONALLY!!

...*

*What is the difference between Saali & Wife*

Saali is Beauty, Wife is Duty

Saali is Pension, Wife is Tension

Saali is Yummy, Wife is Vehmi

Saali is Pataka, Wife is Dhamaka

Saali is Cool, Wife is Fool

Saali is Tooti - Fruity, Wife is Kismat Futi

Saali is Fresh cake, Wife is earth QUAK

After four and a half hours in the car, with many (many) bathroom breaks along the way, we made it to Atlanta without anyone being tossed out of our moving vehicle. Somewhere between Tifton and Macon, I wasn't sure it would be possible.

How did my mother take three children - me, my brother and sister - on road trips without killing any of us? Could we have been as petty, argumentative and just plain annoying as my children were after about 90 minutes in the back seat? I know the answer is yes, and I ought to call her right now to apologize.

It's partly our fault - that is, mine and my husband's. We didn't bother charging up the portable DVD player, figuring that some books and a fully juiced iPod would keep them sane. That was wildly optimistic. Books? Why read when you can beg to hear "S.O.S." again? Once boredom set in, our daughter decided to test how far she could stretch her arm without actually touching our son, which, of course, pissed him off. Eight-year-olds aren't known for taking the high road, so after about 10 minutes of this, he swatted her a little harder than he needed to. Which led to howling and shouts of recrimination. Which led to parental threats to "pull this car over and make someone VERY sorry." There's a reason this scenario is a cliche.

People my age are fond of saying that children don't need to be distracted from the journey of travel, and that "we managed just fine without movies on the road." Yeah, but we "managed" because the technology didn't exist. Sometime in the mid-'80s, I finally got a Walkman, which I used to drown out my much-younger siblings' prattle and my mother's gospel sing-a-longs with my Aunt M. They are lovely singers, but back then, I just wanted to hear lots of Wham!

Anyway, we made it. Now all we have to do is drive back.

On a flight James Bond was sitting next to a Telugu guy. Telugu Guy:
"Hello, May I know your name please?"

James Bond: "My name is Bond". Continuing in his inimitable style, "James Bond".

Then Bond asks: "And you?"

Telugu Guy says: "My name is Rao...
Siva Rao...
Samba Siva Rao...
Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Vijayawada Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao..."

Since then when anyone asks Bond his name he simply says "James "

FUN EMAILS GET HERE

One day an employee sends a letter to her boss asking for an increase in her salary !!!
Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company .
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your $ $incerely,

The next day, the employee received this letter of reply :
Dear
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading
ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NO thing more to add NOw You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly,
Manager

Pakistani Tourist

A Pakistani tourist after a long walk in one of very fancy clean streets of Delhi found himself needing to urinate badly. After a long search he could not find any place to you-know, and eventually couldn't control himself and chose a silent corner of a clean street to release himself.

As soon as he had just started you-know-what, a Delhi police official approached him, "Hey, What do you think you're doing here?"

Pakistani tourist: "Sorry I have to Pee"

Police : "No PP here okay ? Follow me."

The Police officer took him to a beautiful garden nearby with lots of grass, flowers and singing birds around.

Police: "PP here..... and have a nice day".

Pakistani tourist : "Oh Sir, ....... that's very nice of you, is this Indian courtesy?"

Police: "No.......this is The Pakistani Embassy!"

Balayaaa in pokiri(Bokiri),then?Balayaaa in pokiri
evadu toda kodite dimmadirigi train venakki veltundoo
vaade pichimundakoduku…..!

Hospital scene

Ileana:Em chestuntaru miru,

Balayaaa : mari anta gattiga adigite em cheptam. nuvvem anukuntunnav?

Ileana: Ante... age ayipoyi cinemalu lekunda kali kali ga tirugutu verri chupulu chusukuntu tirige BANDODU anukunna....

Balayaaa : correct manamadhe...

Ileana: kaligane unnav ga panikoche panulu cheyochu ga...

Balayaaa : kali ga evadunnadu. dabbuliste emaina chesta...

Ileana: emaina ante?

Balayaaa : ippudu flop cinemalu free chesag mamuluga aithe dabbulu tisukuni chesta...

Ileana: endukala?
Balayaaa : ollu kovekki...

Ileana: ollu.........

Balayaaa : vidu manisha leda pasuva ani alochistunnavuga.. kachitanga manishaithe maatram khaadhu
With Villans:
Rowdy: Era.. nenu dabbulisthe .. vadiki flop ichina vadini..... ippudu vadithone na daggaraku discussion vasthavaaa??
Balayaaa : Naku evadina okatee... nuvvu dubbulu ivvu vediki flop ichi vedini vesestha.........

Balayaaa : Annayaa ee thokkalo discussion (producers meeting) ento naku artham kavatam ledu.... motham 10 mandi vunnaru... thalo oka flop ishte manam intiki vellipovachu.....
Rowdy:: enti ra flop ha enti ... ninna kaka monna vachi... ninna kaka monna vachi........
Balayaaa : eppudu vachama kadu annaya mukhyam flop padinda leda anedi mukyam.
Lift Scene:
heroine-evarinina love chestunnara
Balayaaa -ledu mari nuvvu
heroine -nacchinavallu inka dorakala
balayaaa -em kaavalenti
heroine-baaga act chestoo, baaga hits kodutoo, baaga
dance chestoo, chaala manchivadi vundali
balayaaa - chii nee.. okka quality kuda ledu.
With Prakash Raj:
prakashraj:17th na nenu oka cinemaa teestunnanu andaru
aa cinema chusi chahchipovaali. ..chestaavaa
balayaaa :chestaanu ....ekkada shooting
praksrj:musi nadi pakkana open air lo shooting
balayaaa ::mari pandulo(Pigs)...
praksrj

andulaaaa?
balayaaa : pandulu chachipote
praksrj :chachipote chachipotai ade kada maaa concept
balayaaa :janaalni champamante champutaanu. .kani
pandulaki,barrelaki emi avvakudadu ade naa concept
praksrj:nuvu shooting cheyyakapote jr ntr gaadu
chestaadu
balayaaa :aadini kudaa cheyyanivvanu

ABN AMRO
In the 1960s, the Nederlandse Handelmaatschappij (Dutch Trading Society; 1824) and the Twentsche Bank merged to form the Algemene Bank Nederland ( ABN; General Bank of the Netherlands) . In 1966, the Amsterdamsche Bank and the Rotterdamsche Bank merged to form the Amro Bank. In 1991, ABNand Amro Bank merged to form ABN AMRO.
Accenture
Accent on the Future. Greater-than 'accent' over the logo's t points forward towards the future. The name Accenture was proposed by a company employee in Norwayas part of a internal name finding process (BrandStorming) . Prior to January 1, 2001 the company was called Andersen Consulting.
Adidas
from the name of the founder Adolf (Adi) Dassler.
Adobe
came from name of the river Adobe Creek that ran behind the houses of founders John Warnock and Chuck Geschke .
AltaVista
Spanish for "high view".
Amazon.com
Founder Jeff Bezos renamed the company to Amazon (from the earlier name of Cadabra.com ) after the world's most voluminous river, the Amazon. He saw the potential for a larger volume of sales in an online bookstore as opposed to the then prevalent bookstores. (Alternative: It is said that Jeff Bezos named his book store Amazon simply to cash in on the popularity of Yahoo at the time. Yahoo listed entries alphabetically, and thus Amazon would always appear above its competitors in the relevant categories it was listed in.)
AMD
Advanced Micro Devices.
Apache
The name was chosen from respect for the Native American Indian tribe of Apache (IndÃƒ©), well-known for their superior skills in warfare strategy and their inexhaustible endurance. Secondarily, and more popularly (though incorrectly) accepted, it's considered a cute name that stuck: its founders got started by applying patches to code written for NCSA's httpd daemon. The result was 'a patchy' server Ã¢â‚¬" thus the name Apache.
Apple
for the favourite fruit of co-founder Steve Jobs and/or for the time he worked at an apple orchard. He was three months late in filing a name for the business, and he threatened to call his company Apple Computer if his colleagues didn't suggest a better name by 5 p.m. Apple's Macintosh is named after a popular variety of apple sold in the US. Apple also wanted to distance itself from the cold, unapproachable, complicated imagery created by the other computer companies at the time had names like IBM, NEC, DEC, ADPAC, Cincom, Dylakor, Input, Integral Systems, SAP, PSDI, Syncsort and Tesseract. The new company sought to reverse the entrenched view of computers in order to get people to use them at home. They looked for a name that was unlike the names of traditional computer companies, a name that also supported a brand positioning strategy that was to be perceived as simple, warm, human, approachable and different. Note: Apple had to get approval from the Beatle's Apple Corps to use the name 'Apple' and paid a one-time royalty of $100,000 to McIntosh Laboratory, Inc., a maker of high-end audio equipment, to use the derivative name 'Macintosh', known now as just 'Mac'.
AT&T
American Telephone and Telegraph Corporation officially changed its name to AT&T in the 1990s.
Bauknecht
Founded as an electrotechnical workshop in 1919 by Gottlob Bauknecht .
BBC
Stands for British Broadcasting Corporation.
BenQ
Bringing ENjoyment and Quality to life
Blaupunkt
Blaupunkt (Blue dot) was founded in 1923 under the name Ideal. Their core business was the manufacturing of headphones. If the headphones came through quality tests, the company would give the headphones a blue dot. The headphones quickly became known as the blue dots or blaue Punkte. The quality symbol would become a trademark, and the trademark would become the company name in 1938.
BMW
abbreviation of Bayerische Motoren Werke (Bavarian Motor Factories)
Borealis
The Northern Lights or Aurora Borealis, is the celestial phenomenon that features bursts of light in colourful patterns dancing across the night skies of the north. Borealis, inspired from the shining brilliance of the Northern Lights, was formed in 1994 out of the merger between two northern oil companies, Norway's Statoil and Finland's Neste.
BP
formerly British Petroleum, now "BP" (The slogan "Beyond Petroleum" has incorrectly been taken to refer to the company's new name following its rebranding effort in 2000).
BRAC
abbreviation for Bangladesh Rural Advancement Committee, world's largest NGO (non governmental organization) . It works in development programs around the world.
Bridgestone
named after founder Shojiro Ishibashi. The surname Ishibashi (??) means "stone bridge", i.e. "bridge of stone".
Bull
Compagnie des machines Bull was founded in Paristo exploit the patents for punched card machines taken out by a Norwegian engineer, Fredrik Rosing Bull.
Cadillac
Cadillac was named after the 18th century French explorer Antoine Laumet de La Mothe , sieur de Cadillac, founder of Detroit, Michigan. Cadillac is a small town in the South of France.
Canon
Originally (1933) Precision Optical Instruments Laboratory the new name (1935) derived from the name of the company's first camera, the Kwannon, in turn named after the Japanese name of the Buddhist bodhisattva of mercy.
CGI
from the first letter of Information Management Consultant in french (Conseiller en Gestion et Informatique) .
Cisco
short for San Francisco. It has also been suggested that it was "CIS-co" â€" Computer Information Services was the department at StanfordUniversityt hat the founders worked in.
COBRA
Computadores Brasileiros, "Brazilian Computers", electronics and services company, was the first state-owned designer and producer of computers in the 1970s, later acquired by the Banco do Brasil.
Coca-Cola
Coca-Cola's name is derived from the coca leaves and kola nuts used as flavoring. Coca-Cola creator John S. Pemberton changed the 'K' of kola to 'C' for the name to look better.

Car Trouble
--------------------
There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.
The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineeer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.
Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, "Why don`t we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it`ll work !?"

Bollywood

Shahrukh ,the batsman needs to score 10 runs of 1 ball...............

Bowler bowls it and Shahrukh glides it to 3rd man..............the ball goes to boundary line Shahrukh runs for 3 runs, fielder throws at non-striker it misses the stumps and goes for over-throw, ShahRukh runs again for 3 , this time fielder tactic fully throws at Keepers end, Keeper Misses it goes for a 4 runs. In the background Vande Mathram....

Shahruk WINS the match...................................

Tollywood

Cheeru ,the batsman needs to score 10 runs of 1 ball...............

Bowler bowls it and Cheeru hits with tremendous power..............the ball goes far away and UMPIRES are forced to give 12 runs for that.

Cheeru WINS the match...................................

Kollywood

Rajni ,the batsman needs to score 10 runs of 1 ball...............

Bowler bowls it and Rajini hits with tremendous power..............the ball splits into "TWO"

1 half goes to SIX.....The other half goes to FOUR.............

Rajini WINS the match...................................

What's Students Study in Pakistan?????????????????????????????
(Careers in PAKISTAN)
!

!
!
!
!
!
!
!
BE—Bomb Engineering

M.B.B.S.--Member of Bomb Blasting Society

IIT--Islamic Institute of Terrorism

CAT—Career in Alqueda & Taliban

M.Tech –Masters in Terror Technology

LLB –Learning Licence of Bomb Blasting

B.Sc. –Bio-Weapon Science

AIIMS—All International Islamic Members Society

BA—Bomb Analyst

B.D.S.—Bomb Development Society

Buy the MOON
imag

When they say "Room with view" I really mean it. (Space House)

My PET

The Best Paid Maid in world (Paris Maid)

Walking the Dog

I just use a diamond glass/cup for my drink.

Golf of Course

My Security

Only the best mountain spring water is used to flush the toilets

I guess this is what financial experts call "disposable income"

Chanel Pool

It's a little slow off the line and stonechips are a nightmare.. .

An "excentric",- SOLID GOLD- LAPTOP P IX. 20. 2G. RAM 5G. 20" LCD. Mousepad and keyboard made of authentic ELEPHANT IVORY. Diamons all around the laptop.

My house and long cars.

The Summer House

GET more HERE http://EMAIL4FUN.BLOGSPOT.com

Funny Definitions of Designations at Office
=============================================

1) Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.

2) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a
Baby.

3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine
babies in one month.

4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.

5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even
if no man and woman are available.

6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman;
they'll produce a child with zero resources.

7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is
delivered, they'll just document 9 months.

8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to
Produce a baby .

and lastly.................

9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the
Right baby

1. Long back, a person who sacrificed his sleep,forgot his family,forgot
his food,forgot laughter were called "Saints"

But now they are called..

"IT professionals"
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2. An interesting line written at the back of a Biker's T Shirt:

" If you are able to see this, Please tell me that my galfriend has
fallen off"

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3. Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..
Love is always present..Its just that,One loves too much and
The other loves too many,
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4. Employee: Boss, Now i have got married..! Please increase my
salary..!

BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occuring outside the
company..!

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5. Philosophy of life
At the begining of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD,

Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!

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6. What is a Fear?
Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach
When pages of your book still smell new

and

Just few hours left for your exams..!

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7. Someone has rightly said, "A fool can ask More questions that a wise
man cannot answer"

No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!

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8. Boy: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?

Shopkeeper: Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says "To the only girl I
ever loved.!"

Boy: Thats good, Give me 12 of them..!

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9. After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: "
WE do have an opening for you..!

Applicant: What is it?

Interviewer: Its called the "door..!"

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10. A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..

Drive Slowly, Dont kill our Employee...

..... Leave them to us

Pappu: Dad how was I born

***

***

***

***

***

***

***

Dad: well son, your Mom & I got to gether at 'YAHOO'

we set us a date via E-Mail, & Met in a cyber cafe,

Your Mom agreed to dowload data from my PEN DRIVE,

JUST when I was about to "Transfer"

we realised that none of us have installed "FIREWALL"

IT was too late to DELETE

9 months later a POP-UP Window appeared & said

YOU HAVE GOT A MALE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

some teacher student jokes!!
Teacher - Teacher
Teacher:"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask a question in english, answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight."
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Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student:Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old.
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Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Anwser: Mentaly affected teachers harrasing students

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Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped
him then what virtue would I be showing ?
Student : BROTHERLY LOVE
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Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A holiday
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Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!
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Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence?"
Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."
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Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)

The 1st Affair:

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted,
they
fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM .

The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside

and rub them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.

"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my

secretary. We had sex all afternoon."

"You lying bastard!

You've been playing golf!"

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The 2nd Affair:

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked
about
having a son.

They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby.

Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling

around behind my back?"

The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this time!"

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The 3rd Affair:

A mortician was working late one night.

He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a

startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever

seen!

"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you
to
be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for

posterity."

So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.

"I have to show you something you won't believe," he said to his wife,

opening his briefcase.

"My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead?!?!"

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The 4th Affair:

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening
the
front door.

"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."

She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.

"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."

"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.

"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked
it
so much I got one for us, too."

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with
a
sandwich and a beer.

"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two

days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."

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The 5th Affair:

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.

"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."

"One Cent?" the man thought.

He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak and
a
bottle of wine?"

"A nickel," the barman replied.

"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"

The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."

The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"

The bartender replied, "The same thing I'm doing to his business down

here."

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The 6th Affair:

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside..

He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."

"There's no need to," his wife replied.

"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister,

your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"

"I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison
work."

1) what is sex ???
it's maths
add bed
subtract cloths
divide legs
and pray to god u dont multiply

2) Raju: hi ravi happy valentine's day
Ravi: thanx rey same to u
Raju : i am going out with my gf
Ravi : hehe tht was nice to hear but stay in ur limits bcozz xactly after 9 months its childrens day

3) scene : a mba girl arrested by a police
girl : why did u arrest me
police: i have cn u involved in sex
girl : no sir i actually r selling condoms and offering free trail

4) Dr chopra wanted a board to be written as psychotherapist so ask a sardar he writes it like this
Dr chopra
psycho the rapist

5) AN AMERICAN SAYS TO A SARDAR
hamaray desh may 90% shadi email sey hota hi
SARDAR SAYS
hamaray desh may 100 % shadi female sey hota

A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.....

On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:

"Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded:

"You fool; you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"

"No" replied the trainee.

"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"

The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to,youIDIOT?"

"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.

"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone .

A TC in a train collects fine from girls...

he collects Rs.300 from a girl-
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she was wearing sleeveless.

from 2nd girl he collects Rs. 200
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she was wearing sleeveless & backless.

>From 3rd girl he collects Rs. 100
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she was wearing a sleeveless & backless &
a skimpy mini-skirt...

>From 4th girl he collects Rs. 0

why?
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perverted dirty minds !! what r u thinking??

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she had a ticket !!!

Once upon in air india flight,
one Indian man and a English man were traveling, the indian man got his dinner from home,

he took it out the box, and took out a roti (indian chapati) then at that moment english man curiously asked 'what?s
that', the Indian replied 'bread of India'

After a while the Indian took out a gulabjamun (Indian sweet), at that moment English asked 'whats that'. then Indian
replied 'sweet of India'.

after some time the Indian guy farted with a big sound at that moment the English man asked
'what's that', the indian said thats 'AIR INDIA

After marriage, how couples behave !!!

Dating process:
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?

Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??

Gifts:
6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living room.
6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.

Phone Ringing:
6 weeks : Sweety, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE RINGING.

Cooking:
6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN!!!!

Apology:
6 weeks : Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you.
6 months : Watch out! Don't do it again.
6 years : What's not to understand about what I just said??

New Dress:
6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new dress again???
6 years : How much did THAT cost me?

Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Gilgit or anywhere you please sound??
6 months : What's so bad about going to Islamabad on a charter plane?
6 years : Travel? What's so bad about staying home???

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the Wife looks over at him and asks the question....

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again. "

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"

HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed. "

WIFE: -- silence --

HUSBAND: "shit.."

Girl: Slow down. Im scared.

Guy: No this is fun.

Girl: No its not. Please, its too scary!

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!

Guy: Now give me a BIG hug. (Girl hugs him)

Guy: Can you take my helmet off and put it on? Its bugging me.
In the paper the next day: A motorcycle had crashed into a building
because of break failure. Two people were on the motorcycle, but only
one survived.
The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his
breaks broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her
say she loved him, felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his
helmet so she would live even though it meant he would die.
if u r really loving some1 frm ur heart.....
then send this msg to atleast 9 people(including me)

If u r getting 3 back ur love is always with u.....

THIS IS NOT A JOKE......

A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead:
"I'm afraid he died last week." she explains.

The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.
"I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."

The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts:
"I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"

. . . . . . . . . . .

.

..

.

he replied laughing, "Coz . . ." "I just love hearing it. . . ."

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some teacher student jokes!!

6 Affairs-- Worth reading

Funny SMS JOkes

Great Escape - Old joke but good one

Ticket Examiner (TE) - Nice one

air india -Nice one

After marriage, how couples behave !!!

Conversation between Husband and Wife

ur love is always with u.....THIS IS NOT A JOKE......

I Just Love to Hear IT !!!!

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