Showing posts with label funemail. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funemail. Show all posts

Funny SMS Jokes

1st joke

Once Amitabh Bachchan drove the car himself and made his driver to sit
at the back seat, the car passed away a signal and left the traffic
policeman astonished, the traffic policeman went to the second traffic
policeman and said, "Today I saw one of the richest man."
second policeman : "But who was he actually?"
first policeman : "I don't know the name but his driver was Amitabh
bachchan."

2nd joke

Once a sardharji was going in a train.When the train stopped in a
station,he wanted to have a bath.so he went and approached a man and
asked him the instructions of how to use the bathroom.The man
said,"Just press the buttons 1-10".So the went inside.He pressed the
button-1.It sent him inside.He pressed button-2.It took off all his
clothes.Then he thought that since he had pressed the buttons-1,2, he
must press the button-10(1- 10-1,2,10) .So he pressed the button 10.
Then you can assume what happened next(The button 10 will push the
person out.).

3rd joke

Five friends lived in a room, Namely are MAD, BRAIN, FOOL, NOBODY, SOMEBODY..
One day SOMEBODY killed NOBODY. At that time BRAIN was in bathroom, MAD called police.
MAD: Is it police station ???
Police: Yes, what is the matter ???
MAD: SOMEBODY killed NOBODY..
Police: Are you mad?
MAD: Yes, I"m MAD.
Police: Don`t you have BRAIN.
MAD: BRAIN is in bathroom....
Police: you FOOL...
MAD: No, FOOL is reading this joke..  
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Alley alley bura laga....  

Edi Software Life--------Chaaaaa Yadava Batuku


INSTALLING A HUSBAND

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5..0 to Husband 1.0 andnoticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operatedflawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as:

· Romance 9.5 and
· Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as

· College Football 6.0, NFL24-7, LandscapingPro 4.0
· Major League Baseball 3.0 and
· Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs at all, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

· Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.



DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind,
· Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
· Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
· If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
· Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn newapplications quickly. You might consider buying additional software toimprove memory and performance. We recommend
· Cooking 3.0

Good Luck


.

P.S: No Comments please.....

Just for Fun (North and South Indian Girl)

North indian Girl Vs South Indian Girl

******WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A North Indian GIRL as WIFE***********

1. At the time of marriage, a north Indian girl has more boyfriends than her age.

2. Before marriage, she looks almost like a bollywood heroine and after marriage you have to go around her twice to completely hug her.

3. By the time she professes her undevoted love to you, you are bankrupt because of the number of times you had to take her out to movies, theatres and restaurants. And you wait longingly for her dowry.

4. The only dishes she can think of to cook is paneer butter masala, aloo sabji, aloo gobi sabji, aloo matar, aloo paneer, that after eating all those paneer and aloos you are either in the bed with chronic cholestrol or chronic gas disorder.

5. The only growth that you see later in your career is the rise in your monthly phone bill.

6. You are blinded by her love that you think that she is a blonde. Only later do you come to know that it is because of the mehandhi that she applies to cover her grey hair.

7. When you come home from office she is very busy watching "Kyonki saas bhi kabi bahu thi" that you either end up eating outside or cooking yourself.

8. You are a very "ESpecial" person to her.

9. She always thought that Madras is a state and covers the whole of south india until she met you.

10. When she says she is going to "work out" she means she is going to " walk out"

11. She has greater number of relatives than the number of people you have in your home town.

12. The only two sentences in English that she knows are "Thank you" and "How are you"

13. She thinks Govinda can dance better than Michael Jackson.


******WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A South Indian GIRL as WIFE***********

1.Her mother looks down at you because you didn't study in IIT or Madras / Anna University .

2. Her father starts or ends every conversation with " ... I say..."

3. She shudders if you use four letter words.

4. She has long hair, neatly oiled and braided (The Dubai based Oil Well Company will negotiate with her on a 25 year contract to extract coconut oil from her hair.)

5. She uses the word 'Super' as her only superlative.

6. Her name is another name for a Goddess or a flower.

7. Her first name is longer than your first name, middle name and surname combined (unless you are from Andhra)

8. When she mixes milk/curd and rice you are never sure whether it is for the dog or for herself.

9. For weddings, she sports a mini jasmine garden on her head and wears silk saris in the Madras heat without looking too uncomfortable while you are melting in your singlet.

10. She thinks Mohan Lal is the sexiest man alive.

11. Her favourite cricketer is Krishnamachari Srikkanth.

12. Her favourite food is dosa though she has tried North Indian snacks like Chats (pronounced like the slang for 'conversation')

13. She bursts into songs with her cousins in every movie.

14. She bores you by telling you which raaga each song you hear is based on.

15. You have to give her jewellery, though she has already got plenty of it ..

16. Her thali (Mangal Sutra) weighs more than the championship belts worn by WWF wrestlers.

17. She is more educated than you.

18. Her father thinks she is much smarter than you..

Shankar’s Robot (Rajinikant) First Look - Exclusive Images

Shankar’s Robot (Rajinikant) First Look - Exclusive Images


After the huge box-office success of ‘Sivaji-The Boss’, director Shankar has again roped in Rajnikanth for his next film, the Rs.1 billion-sci-fi film ‘Robot’.
The Britain-based Ayngran International, which has distributed more than 1,500 Indian, and Eros Multimedia, distributors of films like ‘Munnabhai MBBS’,will produce the film. It will see the sure-fire combination of Rajnikanth and A.R. Rahman with Shankar.
The film will be in three languages, Tamil, Telugu and Hindi. Speculation was that would play the lead role but now producers have confirmed it will be Rajnikanth, south India’s darling.
The cast and crew is being finalised, a release from said here Monday.
Director Shankar has been dreaming of making ‘Robot’ for a long time, with a big budget.
‘Robot will be the grandest and most entertaining film ever made in and be produced in Tamil, Telugu and Hindi and be a high-tech film with the use of the state-of-the-art technology,’ the release said.

Update: Movie name changed to 'Endhiran'in Tamil & 'Yantram' in Telugu.

Scroll Down further for updated pics..........






New Auto Rickshaws on Mumbai Roads from TVS

Mumbaikars.....
n also other States people......

Forget Mumbai Taxi....
Forget Lexus.. Hondas & BMWs.....

Check this out...
New Auto Rickshaws on Mumbai Roads from TVS.....








Hugs -- :)






Have Fun



--- wrote:

Have fun!

============ ======

Over the past several years, we have all learned to live with IVRS -
"Inter-active Voice Response System"  as a necessary part of modern
life. I was just wondering what would happen if God decides to go
hi-tech and installs voicemail? I gave it a lot of thought and came up
with various scenarios:

Let us imagine a scenario. You dialed God's number.

"Hi! Thank you for calling God. Please select one of the following:

If you are Christian, dial 1
All Hindus, dial 2
All Muslims, dial 3
All others, dial 0."

So, lets say you are a Hindu and you dialed 2. Here is what you hear:

Press 1 for Requests
Press 2 for Thank you messages for God
Press 3 for Complaints about unfulfilled promises
Press 4 for All other inquiries.
If your prayers are still not answered, dial '0' and ask for Naradmuni."

Or, if all Gods were busy, you might hear this:

"We are sorry, all Gods are busy helping other Bhaktas and Sinners.
However, your prayer is important to us and your prayer will be answered
in the order it was received. Please stay on line. One of the Gods will
be with you soon."

Or, it could even go this way when you start praying:

"If you know your God's extension, dial it now."

Or, you might hear this:

"If you would like to speak to Ganeshji, Press 1.
For Lord Hanuman, Press 2.
For Lord Krishna, Press 3.
To confess your sins, press 4.
To ask for favors, Press 5."

Or, you might even hear this:

"You have reached Lord Krishna's extension. I am going to be away to
conduct a special yuddha to save the humanity and will be away until the
year 2012. If this is something urgent and cannot wait until then, call
Shankara at GB +44  779000020000  Call. If you want to speak to someone
else, for other gods' directory, Press 6 now."

Or you might even hear something like this if you call toward the end of
your life cycle:

"If you think you have reservations at our Heavenly Resort, please
provide your name, social security number and be ready to provide the
proof of your eligibility. If you do not have the proof of eligibility,
please dial 420-HELL and ask for General Manager Ravana, who will be
happy to help you."

Or, depending on the purpose of your call, you might hear this:

"If you are calling to find out if a loved one has been assigned to
Heaven, Press  5, enter his or her 'mantra' number, then press the 0
key.. If you get a negative response, try area code 420-HELL."

For all you know in this day and age of quotas and all, you might even
get a response like this:

"Our computer records show that you have already prayed once today.
Please hang up and try again tomorrow."

Or you might even here this if you call on the wrong day:

"This Main Office of Heaven is closed for DIWALI holidays. If this is an
emergency, you may try our Himalayan Retreat in the mean time by dialing
6000-31,000. "

So, let us hope and pray that God never learns about computers  And  IVR
systems   - because if he does, we are in BIG trouble!

Good Better Best, Never Let It Rest, Until Your Good becomes Better and
Your Better Becomes Best!!!


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