v A man teases his ex-wife's new husband: So, dude how was the second-hand stuff?
New husband: Not bad. After the first 3 inches, she was brand new.
v Failure is not when ur girlfriend leaves you... It's only when u leave her a virgin.
v A hilarious spelling mistake behind a truck, saying: Put deeper at night!
v Similarity between a dick & matchstick?
Both have heads without brains, both flare up at slightiest friction, both fizzle out after showing valour for 2secs!!!
v What do politicians & porn stars have in common?
They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera!
v Tension is when wife is pregnant!
Terror: When girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror: When both r pregnant!
Tragedy: When U r Not responsible 4 both!
v Define contraceptive pill?
It's the second best thing that a women can keep in her mouth to avoid pregnancy.
v The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of Sperm when Mating. Only 10% enters the female.
And you always wondered why the sea tasted Salty?!
v Why is it that a girl looks down when u say I love u?
To see if you really mean it!
v 70 ways to make a woman happy: No. 1 is shopping & the rest is '69'
v Why is sex similar to shaving?
Well, because no matter how well u do it today, tomorrow u have to do it again.
v Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does.
v Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls olympic sex
Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life?
Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 Years.
v The stock markets now are like an old man's dick?
Just refusing to rise, and the irony is that everyone is still getting fucked!
v The saddest part of a Man's body is his Balls. The Lord Almighty sentenced them to : Hang Till Death !
v Why are condoms transparent?
So that sperms can atleast enjoy the scene, even if their entry is restricted...!
v What is common between a girl's legs n Amul butter?
Both are delicious when spread.
v What is a husband's idea of foreplay?
Half an hour of begging.
v A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs in. He sees a guy leaping out of the window.
Wife yells: That guy just screwed me twice!
Husband: Twice? Why didn't you call me in after he screwed you once?
Wife: Because I thought it was you, until he started the second time.
v What is the difference between a chicken and a baby?
Chicken is the result of a sitting hen while the baby is the result of standing cock.
v If a bomb bursts in a bra, what would you get?
Tit-Bits.
And if it bursts in a man's underwear?
Banana split.
v What's the diff between a bomb n a condom?
In a bomb blast population decreases & if a condom blasts population increases.
v Name the 5 great kings that have brought happiness in peoples lives?
DrinKING,
LicKING,
SucKING,
FucKING,
WinKING !
v Great door signs:
Gynecologist: Dr Jones at your cervix.
Septic tank truck: Yesterday's meals on wheels.
Plumber's office: We repair what ur husband fixed.
Tire shop: Invite us to ur next blowout.
Electrical shop: Let us remove ur shorts.
Maternity room: Push, Push, Push.
v This week is Breast Awareness Week
Spread the slogan
"We stare because we care!"
Bookmark this page
